Leadership at Home
Mick Daly (Elder, Purpose Leader: Leader Development)
December 2006

When I think back to our sons’ teenage years, I remember having to work hard to maintain our standards for their behavior against the sometimes poor example of their friends. We accepted responsibility as their leaders in our home.

Here’s a home leadership pop quiz:
1. Who is/will be responsible for your child's education?  Their school? 
2. Who should be your child’s most influential teacher? A school teacher? 
3. Who is responsible for your child's religious training?  Church? 
4. Who is responsible for developing your child's character?  God? 

In my opinion, the correct answer to all those questions is YOU - your child's parent. 

Parental example is everything in our children’s development. They watch us, learn from us and copy us – scary thought!

As a child, Jesus knew the most important influence and authority in his life. When he was 12 he stayed behind in the temple in Jerusalem as Mary & Joseph set out for home. When they found him he said “… I had to be in my Father's house." (Luke 2:49)

Then as a 30-something leader Jesus told his disciples: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” (John 5:17-20) Of course, Jesus had a big advantage over us and our children: His father is perfect, and we aren’t. But we are still their first influence for good and model of authority.

As I said last month, Joshua has a 'weird' attitude towards authority. Yet Joshua didn't one day decide to be cooperative, dependable and loyal. He was chosen by God because those character traits were already part of who he was.

To build an obedient child takes the best teacher the child will ever have: a parent who lovingly disciplines their child. A great parent takes the time to patiently show and carefully explain what they expect from their child. "This is how we wash the car, fill the dishwasher, take out the trash, etc.” If you find the job undone or below par, you patiently repeat the process because its part of their character development.

You persevere because you want to build into your child character qualities like respect, cooperation, dependability, endurance, initiative, obedience, orderliness and responsibility. As a byproduct, this whole process builds into your own life character qualities like consistency, patience, determination, faith, perseverance, etc. Every leader has these.

If only we could get parents to say to themselves, "I am the president of a university that is greater than Yale, Harvard or West Point. I am building a great leader." With that kind of compass in your head you don't grow weary correcting the home work or showing them 'how' for the 100th time. Parents who view their role as developers of leaders have what it takes to say 'no' when necessary.

Many parents fail to hold their child accountable, often making empty threats. 'How' you teach is as important as 'what' you teach. Joshua had someone teach him how to function under authority.

Why did Joshua have such explicit trust and confidence in Moses' authority?

Moses was ready to put his life on the line for the sins of his people. "So Moses went back to the LORD and said, "Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold. But now, please forgive their sin-- but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written." (Exodus 32:31-32)

Today this is counter-cultural: most people try to pass the buck, shift the blame. Joshua would have seen Aaron blame the people for the golden calf he made.   What a marked contrast between Aaron and Moses.

Many children rebel because all their life they've witnessed their parents passing the buck. It's the boss’s or teacher's, coach’s or preacher’s fault. Children need a role model of accepting responsibility, of submitting to authority.

Parents, give your children a viable reason to want to submit to your authority. Give them a clear picture of you submitting to the authority of your heavenly father and other authority figures in the world in which we live. We are called to be image-bearers of the Almighty.

Great leaders are comfortable both in and under authority. Truly great leaders reproduce after their kind. Truly great parents reproduce obedient children - like Joshua, like Jesus. Decide to be a really great parent, just like our Heavenly Father.

I wrote this article just before Pastor Charley's message on November 26th - that's quite a coincidence (not!). It takes a Community: Sounding the alarm for the last Christian generation is a must-listen if you missed it live. I believe "God-incidences" are direct 'nudges' from God: "don't miss the significance of this!

"Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do".